Dear friend,

It is clear from your letter that your frustrations are warranted but they are also self-inflicted. Don't allow resentment and anger to ruin your character.

You are placed in a situation that may seem like a curse but it is a place to practice forgiveness, both to yourself and to others. I am not asking you to forget what happens to you, just make sure the rivers of your mind don't run red with blood.

To be able to do this you need to hone your ability to see reality for what it is. Get critical about what is actually happening and draw clear boundaries between things that are actually happening to you and the stories you tell yourself.

In some traditions, it is believed that if a family member gets murdered, the family cant forgive the murder itself because they weren't the ones killed. They can forgive the pain and suffering caused by the loss, but not the killing. This might seem like an extreme example but it illustrates the point, of the things you wrote to me about; which are actually realistically causing you pain?

The biggest challenge you face is the mistakes you are making that are hard to forgive. It is clear that you want to better yourself, be the hero of your story but it is easy to make decisions that are much more like a villain than a hero. Staying guilty for extended periods of time will not help you, set in stone that you won't repeat the mistake and let it go; the world will be a darker place if you spiral into self-doubt.

All of these things will become easier once you learn to be more detached from the situation and see only the reality without your expectations layered on top. Pay close attention to the narrative you have built up around the events in your life. It is a choice to carry your baggage forward, you can let go and be much lighter on your feet. What is more important to you, becoming the person that people can depend on or living in revenge fantasies?

You can't control the external but the internal is always your responsibility. Remember that we all turn to ash eventually, don't let petty matters taint your soul.

- Love JeyRam